CHAPTER LIST WITH SAMPLES FROM BOOK

LAUGHTER

One morning I woke up laughing. What a gift! I quickly realized that was the ideal way to start a day. Loose. At play with the just born day. We can all cultivate the use of laughter to help us through our days, to heal our anger and anxiety, and to lift us out of depression. The pretend laugh or laughter yoga is something we can call on at any moment to create immediate shift in how we feel and what we are thinking. Often times I am driving across town thinking about some mean person and all the angry things that I'm going to say to them and then (ching!) I catch myself and I begin the pretend laugh and the anger fades immediately like a window full of light sending Dracula back to his coffin. Making conscious decisions to bring laughter into your daily life is another way to heal with laughter. I found that working for environmental groups puts me in contact with very passionate, intelligent people who tend to have a good sense of humor. You can read funny books, watch funny movies, join an improv theater group, play ping-pong with goofy people, and even say off-the-wall things in line at a grocery store to see if there are any creative thinkers in your vicinity. By making a conscious effort and setting the intention of using laughter as a tool and inviting laughter into your life you can improve your health and happiness as well as that of the people around you. 

LOVE

A baby is a lot like a dog. They give and receive unconditional love all day long. It's the only language they speak. Babies are saying "I love you, I need you, thank you” and so are the parents. We all need some of that baby dog energy in our life. When I go to my Sunday ecstatic dance group I enter a sacred healing space filled with fun and creativity where unconditional love is the underlying theme. In a space like this the heart can heal and grow from the trauma that we all have experienced. You can give yourself that love by repeating love in mantras. “I pray for love. Or… I am love”. You can write or call or text a loved one and tell them how much they mean to you. I once participated in a two day workshop with the Human Awareness Institute where we shared our fears and our dreams with each other in a very safe and intimate space. To receive and give love with a group for two days straight opens your heart right up. To function in top health we need to have our hearts open. Baby steps. A simple job that allows you to help others will serve to open your heart. Listen to music about love. Do guided meditations about love. Make an effort to be around friends or family that have an abundance of love in their lives. You can become a Big Brother or Big Sister and show up in a young person's life to give love to someone that maybe doesn't have parents or doesn't have a mother or doesn't have a father. Giving love on this level will bring love into your life that you cannot even imagine. We all long for the simplicity of baby love. Let it out and let it in… 

MEDITATION

It slices, it dices… 

Meditation is another practice or habit that requires no tools or payments yet it has the ability to greatly improve the quality of your life. If you learn to meditate you may never have to medicate. All you have to do is sit still for 15 minutes first thing in the morning and again before bed. You can learn about meditation online or at a local Zen Center or with a book. You can meditate anytime and anyplace. You can meditate on the bus, while waiting in line, sitting in the park waiting for a friend, or before a meeting or sporting event. Doing Yoga is a long form of meditation that includes breathe work. Through meditation you can gain the ability to control your own mind rather than being held captive by it. Meditation, like exercise, is another way to shift gears or change how you feel or dissolve tension.  I meditated every morning for three months while traveling around the U.S. and found  great peace. Every time I brush my teeth I use that time as an opportunity to check in, become present in my body and see if I am holding onto any tension in my face. This is a trick to step out of the mind and into the body in order to become aware of the condition we are in like one of tension or relaxation. Stopping to notice the songs of birds is another similar trick. Once again, this is another tool for calming and slowing down that has no monthly fees, no login, or bothersome password. 

GRATITUDE

Remembering to be grateful for all the blessings in our life on a daily basis can have incredible positive health effects. Gratitude is a reminder of how fortunate we are. I like to give thanks before I go to bed and when I wake up in the morning by saying "thank you great spirit for this gift of life “. Being alive right now on planet earth is an incredible opportunity and privilege that we all have been gifted, poor and rich alike.  You can cover your room or office with reminders of all the great people in your life who love you and who have helped you. Right beside that list you can make another list of all the people who you have helped. The experience of making lists like this is like being an archaeologist at the site of the lost city of your soul. There is gold in there. And diamonds. I have participated in Native American sweat lodges where you give thanks for all that is good in your life before you ask for what you need. Under the spell of the dark lodge and Native American Chanting, the tears flow and the hearts open. Another way to bring more gratitude and love into your life is by writing letters or emails or even sending a text message to someone you love and thanking them for the good things that they have brought into your life. This will strengthen your friendship, bring joy into someone else's life, and also fill your heart with joy. When you train yourself to live in an attitude of gratitude you will attract more good things and be a happier person. 

HARD WORK

Hard physical work is something that everyone did once upon a time and now I'm going to recommend that if it's not in your life you might seek it out for all the health benefits it brings. I was introduced to hard physical work by my parents and my grandparents and my neighbors and I am grateful that these people were in my life to show me different types of work. Hard physical work combines exercise, service, and social connection, as well as the satisfaction of seeing physical progress made to a desired end. You can get a job working in construction where you actually build something. I got my first job working for a contractor at age 13. I was making more money than any kid I knew and every day I worked I learned some new aspect of what it took to build a house. You could start a business washing windows (one story only at first!), cleaning yards, or trimming trees. I started selling Kool-Aid door to door at age 8 and became a contractor at age 21 after the experiment of college life. My love of hard work gave me 35 years with my own business as a contractor where I shared my love of construction to many employees and improved peoples homes. You can use your love of hard work to help yourself, your family, or your neighbors. You will get in shape, be loved and appreciated, and have more energy as a result of your hard, physical work. 

GARDEN

You can be that vital strong person with fruits and vegetables in their hand, fire in their eyes, dirt under their nails, and moving with purpose and conviction! The wallflower (many of us) can jump in to the dance of the wheel of life and heal as you are connecting with the basic elements: earth, wind, fire, water and sunshine. Here we have another healthy habit waiting for you right outside the door. You can start a garden club at your school and build a greenhouse for fresh veggies all through the school year. Whether you are weeding for mom or cleaning the neighbors yard for money, you are guaranteed to benefit on levels physical, emotional, and spiritual. It is a scientific fact that breathing the aroma of the soil will make you feel better. With time you can experience the  joy that occurs as you come to love the plants as well as all the other living creatures in a garden. You can win (and earn) the gold that comes with being a caretaker of the earth. I have worked on many organic farms with families of Latinos and white folks alike. Se habla espanol? We would work all day together in the fields and then sit down to these amazing meals and really appreciate each other while harvesting the benefits of this calm and slower lifestyle.  For 11 years I have hosted a radio show called Farm Talk at KSKQ.ORG in Ashland, Oregon where I interview the peaceful heroes we call farmers. The world really needs young people to become farmers so there will be plenty of good organic food available in the future. 

YOGA

Yoga is the multi tool in your toolbox of health and happiness. It's always there waiting in your pocket and it will improve every aspect of your mind and body and life. By combining deep breathing with stretching and flexing your muscles, yoga calms and strengthens your mind and body. If you are feeling anxious or depressed, you can gift yourself one hour of yoga to calm yourself down or lift yourself up. All you need is a quiet space and enough room to lay down comfortably. When I was a contractor and a husband and a father, I would have anxiety sometimes in the morning so I would get up at 5 AM and do an hour of yoga while the family was sleeping in order to take care of my needs first. I feel like that hour of peace in the morning saved my life.  Taking a yoga class or doing it on your own will make you a better athlete and reduce your risk of injury. By dedicating yourself to doing yoga on a regular basis, you can reverse chronic health conditions. In my early 30s I had a compressed disc in my spine and chronic lower back pain. 20 years later I have no lower back pain thanks to yoga. You can master yoga and share it with others to promote mental and physical health for all. I was of service twice when I taught yoga to people. This is a great example of getting paid to help others heal and become empowered. You can share your love of yoga with family and friends anywhere and anytime.

 WATER

We are 65% water. Connect with water daily and you will be renewed and refreshed. Drink it. Play in it. Look at it. Breathe the negative ions surrounding a waterfall or the ocean shore. Create a habit of drinking a gallon a day of the purest best water you can find. If you don’t drink enough water you may get headaches or get grumpy. My water bottle is full in my backpack at all times. You can swim in it, canoe in it, sail on it, or surf it. I was a river guide for many years and got paid to introduce people to the magic healing powers of pure moving water. Going through river rafting guide school was one of the highest experiences of my life. You can live beside it, hike to it, vacation beside it, however you do it, get ye to the water and gaze upon it. Several times I have spent three weeks at the bottom of the Grand Canyon breathing the negative ions of river air with every breath. Those were some of the most vital alive moments in my life. Allergies go away, stress disappears in this setting. I have sailed for a week at a time upon the ocean breathing nothing but sea air and I have felt my life force soar. Showers, baths, and soaking at hot springs are all ways to commune with water for healing and relaxation. One of my favorite poets, Charles Bukowski, wrote about how his daily bath was like therapy. You can camp out at wild hot springs for days at a time. Many towns have bath houses where you can meet people while relaxing in the healing waters. Some of the best moments of my life have coalesced in the healing waters of Jackson Wellsprings in Ashland, Oregon. Come home to who you are with a loving connection to water. 

SPORTS

Playing sports could save your life. By giving life meaning while teaching focus, dedication, and working toward a goal, playing sports can be a central part of your health and happiness. We all need a sense of belonging, a feeling of acceptance by our tribe. All of that aside, the exercise alone makes playing sports a good idea. I would like to include martial arts in this category of sports because it functions in many ways like a sport. Martial arts have the ability to save someone's life like it did when my son discovered jujitsu. Playing baseball as a kid helped me to get to know some of the older kids and that paid off later in school. When I played football in high school I mostly sat on the bench, however, I still got in great shape and I felt how good it feels to be part of a team that pulls together and supports each other for a mutual goal. Hopefully, playing sports is the growing relationship between you and a sport that you love and have passion for. Someday you may pay it forward as a coach or referee. I coached youth soccer for eight years and played an important role in the lives of all the kids on the team including my own. Now, as an adult, I play soccer two mornings a week with a group of people I consider to be family. That hour of running is the best thing in the world for my health and then I also get the sense of belonging and the love that we share. The excitement of playing sports can be that spark that makes you excited about your day or your week and makes it easier to get out of bed in the morning. 

SING

Your ancestors hundreds of thousands of years ago sang all the time. Indigenous people around the world have frequent ceremonies that are filled with song and dance as part of what keeps them healthy and connected. Like the birds and like the coyotes, they know that singing is just something we do because it makes us feel good and it brings us together. Singing is another self-help tool that you always have available with no monthly fees or passwords or restrictions. You can sing your favorite songs along with the stereo while driving or in the shower. I like to make up songs while riding my bike. Singing moves energy from your stomach area and can calm us down or lift us up into realms of joy and release. If you incorporate singing into every day, it can play a key role in keeping you healthy. You can sing around the campfire with friends, you can sing in a choir. Because I know the power of singing to shift my well-being, when driving my car I intentionally play musicians who I enjoy singing along with so I can have a half hour or hour of moving energy and getting clearer and grounded and happier. When I canvassed for Sane Freeze in Santa Cruz, California, we sang in the station wagon on the way out to the neighborhood where we would work for the night. This singing lifted our hearts and put us in a really good space to spend the evening reaching out to people about the need to reduce the amount of weapons in the world. The ancient power of song can be a powerful tool for survival and health even in this modern age. 

DANCE

Dance is a form of free play that uses music and movement to carry you to magical realms of fun and release. Dance incorporates many of the healing modalities mentioned in this book; exercise, play, singing, music, being with friends, meditation, laughter, breath, thinking happy, laughter and gratitude. Most of us danced freely in our childhoods. When my kids were little they used to stand on my feet and we would dance around the kitchen together in a swirl of fun music and laughter. If you are lucky, it is still easy and fun for you. If not then you may have to work at it a bit to rediscover the freedom to move unhindered in your body. Dancing alone or with your friends can help you to relax and even help get you in shape. You could host a dance party at your house. You could go to a dance club. Maybe if the students had more input on how their school dances went there would be more turn out. Why don't all the schools allow for dance breaks between classes? I was healed of some of my stuckness and helped to fly by some generous dancers at a Grateful Dead concert in the 80s. In order to receive the gift from these kind grateful dead dancers, I had to summon my courage and trust with a leap of faith on to the dance floor. Once you are on the dance floor you will be surrounded by people who are moving freely in their bodies, giving you examples and inspiration to help you move easily and with grace.  I also found that going to sweat your prayers or Ecstatic Dance is a great way to make friends and do deep healing and transformation. Transformation through trance.  Dance is another one of those free ways to use your built-in healing modalities to improve your life.

PLAY

Play is another one of those things we might take for granted without realizing its importance. Unstructured play is critical for the mental and emotional development of the child (see “A Hunter Gatherer’s Guide to the 21st Century”). Nowadays, many kids have their days planned out from 8 AM until 7 PM. They are shuttled from school to piano class to sports practice and then when they get home they're supposed to go in their room and do homework. Where is the time for free play? The time to be a kid. Do your child a favor and let them have solid blocks of time to just be and don't over schedule them. Gee, I wonder why our kids are anxious? It is healthy and important for kids to just walk out the front door of the house and see what they can find for themselves for entertainment. When I traveled to Central America I carried a hackey sack in my backpack. Every day I would pull it out at a park or town square or bus stop and start kicking it for fun. Sometimes people would join in and sometimes they would watch. When you see a group of kids heading out into a field that is unstructured play. You can join an improv theater group and get goofy with other people. I have spent many an evening laughing my rear end off while creating fun skits with my friends. Make up a game with your friends. Throw a ball with your dog. Wrestle with your dog. Grab a frisbee or some juggling balls. I play ping-pong with a group of guys three nights a week. In between games we make up games like kick the soccer ball at each other or throw frisbees. These playful nights with my ping-pong buddies are the high point of my week. I see this play as necessary for my survival. 

SERVICE

To give is to receive. We serve the community and it serves us. Helping others makes us feel better. It is critical for our health to be involved with the give-and-take of running our families or communities. We can help with dinner, help in the garden, or chop firewood. I used to deliver free firewood to poor people and old people. My kids would join me and help stack the wood at the peoples houses. It is in the nature of children to help out and get involved. Let's encourage the child nature and allow kids of all ages to participate in all that it takes to run a family or a village. You can start your own business. I started my own business at seven years old when I sold Kool-Aid door to door with my little red wagon. After that I worked cleaning and mowing peoples yards. You can start a business washing windows, cutting firewood, trimming trees, walking dogs, shopping and delivering food for elderly people, helping people with their computers, cooking for them, or cleaning for them. Running your own business is a great way to be of service while making money for yourself. If you charge a fair price and do a good job, then you are being of service. It is also a good idea to offer to help elderly people in your family or neighborhood without expecting compensation other than their gratitude. Helping someone in need will fill your heart with love. 

NATURE

Take a leap of faith into nature and she will heal you. Trade the fast-paced crowds and smoke of the city for slowing down with sane people, clean air, and clean water. Embrace your animal nature and your place in nature and you will be healed. If you can develop the habit of turning to nature in times of stress or depression you may never need psych meds or doctors. You can become a river guide, work for the forest service, live in a remote wild place, build forts and tree houses, or go to a nature-based school. I once went to a river guide training school and was introduced to the magic and power of the river and the amazing people she draws to her. Then I was paid to share her magic with customers. I facilitated many a city slicker transformation in the journey down the river. When I was suffering at college I found instant peace and strength with my friends at the river. Becoming a river guide is a great example of getting paid to be healed and then to heal others. Living in small towns means living in big nature. I bought 40 acres in the high desert and gave myself five years of shamanic immersion into the deep spiritual connection of man and nature. I bonded with weather and plants and animals and experienced emotions I didn't know were possible. Nature is our friend. Maybe a current friend or a long lost friend. Either way, she is there to bring us home. 

THINK HAPPY

You can improve your life by surrounding yourself with positive thoughts, words, images, and people. Make an effort to have friends that are kind and enjoy helping others. You can fill your room, your car, your house with written signs that lift you up and remind you of the infinite source of love and light that you are. You can use sticky notes to post affirmations where you will see them. You can pray to the God Ganesh to remove the obstacles in your life so you will have everything you need. I have been giving thanks to Ganesh for many years and asking for love and health and friends and money in my life and it works. With practice, you can choose to seek out the good in every person or circumstance. You can read an inspiring book or listen to a podcast that is positive and solution-based. For decades I have started and ended my day by saying a series of positive affirmations. You can encourage your friends by reflecting back to them the good you see in them. It is really helpful if you can have a job that allows you to help others and give and receive praise. My job at the book store was my favorite because I was able to help people find what they needed and I could share my love of books and this was greatly appreciated. Book people are my people. By taking these steps, we gain control of our lives and find ourselves in the driver seat of the bus rather than just going along for the ride. "Next stop, health and happiness for all! “ 

PETS

For most of us, slowing down with pets can be a sure way of giving and receiving love on a daily basis. Because they aren't bothered with a giant brain like we have, pets are the ambassadors of unconditional love. The love of a pet is something that you can count on. In this world that means a lot. By becoming aware of this you could make sure not to pass Fido by or even seek him out if necessary. Caring for your animal is also a good way to give and receive love. Feeding your pet or brushing their fur is a great way to show you love them. I would have to sit down for a half hour once a week with my great big labradoodle, Lyle, to remove foxtails from his feet. He didn’t always like the process but it always was an opportunity for closeness and nurturing. It is recommended to have as many healing moments as you can in a day rather than trying to get it all at one time. This is an invitation to pet every safe dog you see, say kind words to a stray cat, allow your day to be filled with giving and receiving love from pets. When I was a little boy growing up in the hills of the Bay Area, my parents got us a German Shepard puppy named Queen to be our companion. She followed us everywhere as we explored the trails and trees and creeks of the mountains. We loved her and she loved us. It’s all about showing up. For yourself as well as others. 

BREATH

Your state of well-being can be as close as a handful of deep breaths away. The minute you feel anxiety or depression settling in you can stop what you're doing and take six deep breaths for six sections each followed by a six second exhale. The trick is for this to become a habit, a natural reaction to stress or depression. For many years my outgoing message on my phone has encouraged people to take a deep breath to help their mental and physical state. People are constantly thanking me for that reminder. Yoga is one giant breath work session. Yoga invites you to do deep breathing for an entire hour. Meditation is the same. In meditation we focus on our deep steady breath as a way to let go of the busyness of our minds. When I do yoga or meditate it helps me to immediately relax and when I'm done it leaves me in a calm and floaty place that is a wonderful alternative to anxiety or depression. You can learn yoga or meditation by going to classes or you can learn it on YouTube or with a book. You now have a ticket for the ride called happiness. 

EXERCISE

Exercise is always there for you, one breath away and requires no planning or equipment, just step out the door for a walk or a run. The trick is to cultivate the habit so your response to stress or overload or anxiety or depression is to jump into some form of cardio workout. A lot of people go for a run in the morning before work or school because they know it will help them have a better day and deal with stress better. I knew when it came time for me to quit tobacco that I needed the assistance of my strongest ally – the bike ride. I rode my bike ten miles every morning for the first three days while quitting tobacco so I could have the peace and strength to make it through the day. I backpacked across North America, Central America, and throughout Asia and enjoyed the freedom of walking through the world with everything I needed on my back and my exercise guaranteed daily. Later in life, all I had to do was to put the backpack on and start walking and a great feeling would instantly return. I have had many a joyous evening rollerblading while listening to funky music where exercise becomes play and dance. If you invite exercise into your life I hope you are ready for the long term side effect – increased overall health.

FOOD

It is important to look close at your relationship to food. I encourage that relationship to be one of the richest, most meaningful, and most intimate relationships in your life. Imagine going to your best friends house to get your favorite food from their garden. Imagine growing a garden with your best friend. Last winter I grew greens in a green house with my two friends and we ate like kings and handed out bags of greens to everyone we know. Imagine going on a hunting or fishing or gathering trip with your best friend and coming home with a bounty of food to share with family and friends. Food, until recently, has always been at the center of our culture and our daily lives. My grandparents grew their own food, hunted and fished, and spent most of their time working with food with the help of friends and family. They are the happiest, healthiest people I know. You can shop at a local farmer’s market and meet the people who grow your food. Maybe you could have a booth at a farmer’s market yourself some day. You can cook for yourself, for a friend, for your family. When I was living in a fraternity at college I talked our cook into letting me cook breakfast on Sunday mornings for the brothers. I made smoothies and omelettes and pancakes and had pledges help me with the prepping. The brothers loved the change and it felt good to give to them.  You can help bring life back into the kitchen. Turn your kitchen into an Italian food hub with aunts and uncles stopping in and grandma at the center like the creative force of the universe. You are what you eat. Eat organic. Eat local. Eat love and health and happiness. With your people. 

SLEEP

Good sleep is one of the main building blocks of a healthy human. The functioning of our brains, our internal organs, our whole being relies on having plenty of time to rejuvenate each evening. By making good sleep a priority in your life, you are choosing health and happiness. One of the many blessings during Covid for students occurred when schools allowed online classes to start at nine or 930 instead of 830. This later start, combined with no commute time, meant that kids got to sleep in later like would be natural for them. Teenagers need 8 to 10 hours of sleep every night. You can learn to make sleep a priority to improve the quality of your life. Set a bed time for yourself so you get all the sleep you need and have plenty of time to get ready in the morning so your morning is not rushed or stressful. Taking a nap in the middle of the day is not only for toddlers. Listen to your body. If it is telling you it is tired, lie down and sleep. The reward is that amazing feeling when you lie down and then feeling rested afterwards. My grandfather took a nap every day after lunch for forty years with his trusty dog Popeye snoring beside him. Pulling off the highway if you are feeling sleepy for a 15 minute nap can make you a safer driver. Good sleep is a great gift from the creator available to everyone. No equipment, monthly fees, sign ups, downloads, or passwords necessary. Sleep is the free download, the daily reboot. 

FRIENDS

Something magic happens when we connect with friends. We feel accepted and loved and understood and appreciated. Heart connection is medicine. Healthy living can be great fun. Friends help each other out. They remind us that we are not alone. Making an effort to spend time with family or friends can increase your health and happiness as well as others. You can bring more friendship into your life simply by being kind to someone that needs help at school or work. You can take a class or join a sports team to make friends. Together we got this.

MUSIC

You can strategically use the magic of music to change or improve your mood, to create stronger friendships, make new friends, and to bring light and love into other peoples lives. Kurt Vonnegut once said, “as far as I can see, music is the best argument there is for the existence of God.” Let’s have some god power in our lives. By creating custom playlists you can have musical medicine to lift you up, calm you down, inspire you, or move you into dance. My kids benefited from group musical play at their school. Every morning at school they would start their day with everyone including teachers and parents (the complete tribe) joining together in song. Certain calming lullabies that I played every night for them helped my kids fall to sleep and then later helped calm them down as anxious teenagers. You can take a study break by playing rock 'n' roll or classical or folk music on your guitar or keyboard or flute or drums. Playing an instrument is like having a dear friend that you can get to know for the rest of your life and every time you play it you are meditating. You are encouraged to use music as fuel for your soul and to share it with others. 

PARENTING

The first skill needed to be a healthy parent is to slow down. This will serve you and the kid. We can't reshape the world so that every aspect reflects the needs of the child first, but we can make an effort to regularly check in with the child, on their level, to see how, what, and where they are. Make an effort to gently connect with the child from an open neutral place as opposed to top-down communication like telling rules, giving education, or checking on them. This allows the child an opportunity to give of what they know to you. It gives them a chance to share. The simplest version of this is to walk into their room with permission and sit down on their bed with absolutely no agenda. Just sit there quietly and allow the child to choose what to share. What a beautiful thing to witness a child opening up to their parent this way. I can't help but say this is like sitting quietly at the edge of a clearing in the forest to see what animals will begin to move around. Maybe even start talking. Being a better parent will create a better child and a better parent. If you slow down to show up for your kid, the kid benefits from feeling your softness and openness and you benefit from being soft and open. 

Wake Up Laughing